What is Your Word for 2018?

Within the past couple of years, I have started naming a word or phrase that I want to represent my year. In 2016, it was mental health. That whole year was spent working on, and bettering, my mental health. I finally admitted to myself that I had depression, and that I could no longer pretend that I could handle this on my own. I started personal counseling in April (it was the day after my 20th birthday, to be exact), and I participated in group therapy that reflected on self-love over the summer. Counseling was honestly one of the best decisions I made for myself; I learned so much about who I was and my struggle with mental illness. By the end of the year, I felt my mental health had certainly took a turn for the better. I was not at maximum health by December, but I was certainly in a much better, and more stable, place than when the year first started.

In 2017, I decided that my word would be brave. For a good portion of my life, I lived in fear-- fear of my thoughts, fear of my mental illness, and fear of myself. After working on my mental health, I wanted to be brave enough to accept myself (OCD and all). I even got a tattoo in the Spring that says, she who is brave is free, as a reminder for the year to have the kind of courage and strength I truly felt I wanted. By December of last year, I was happy to report that I do, in fact, love myself. I bravely and boldly proclaim that love for who I am. I accept my mental illness. I accept that depression was part of my life. I know how to live with anxiety. I am beautifully and wonderfully made; those are true words, and not just a scripture that I used to read in hopes that one day I'd believe it. I do believe it.

Since it is now February of 2018, I realized I haven't declared a word yet. It has been hard to pick because I am at a much different point in my life now than I was in 2016. I would consider 2015 my breaking point, and 2016 is where I tried to pick up the pieces and put myself back together again. 2017 was learning how to grow from those pieces I put back together, and now, I am considering where I am at. . .mentally, physically, and emotionally. What do I want this year to be about? Thinking long and hard about it (honestly, that means having a conversation with myself in the shower; you know you do it, too), I have decided that my word for 2018 is nourishment.

My mental health is probably at the best it has been in my whole life, and I have finally learned to love who I am. So what next? Is the journey complete? Of course not. As long as the world keeps spinning, and life keeps going, so will I. Nourishment is my word this year because I want to nourish all aspects of myself. I want to nourish my body by eating clean and healthy foods that give me long-last energy, while also being able to indulge in delicious treats from time to time without the guilt. I want to nourish my body with movement and exercise that reminds me of how grateful I am to have this temple of mine. I want to nourish my mind with intellectual thoughts that bring me joy in my aspects of study, and with positive affirmations that remind me to be the brave and courageous woman I have fought to become. I want to nourish my soul with love from family members, friends, my fiance, my dog, and myself. I want to nourish all aspects of my being to make sure that I am always striving to be the best version of me.

This is the year that I will give myself to another. I will stand at the alter and declare my love for the man of my dreams, and when I do, I want to give him the best of me. There are scars and wounds inside of me; those have made me who I am. I hold no shame of my past because I would not be who I am without it. On December 22, 2018, I want to give the best version of myself that has been created by the good and bad parts of my journey. I want him to know that I have worked so hard on myself, and that I have worked so hard to be the person he always believed I could be. I want him to know that the effort I have put into myself is the effort I will always put into our marriage. I will help him strive for overall health, and the best versions of himself. I will help him love bravely- each other and ourselves. I will help him stay nourished in all ways. We are two souls who will soon choose to be one, and I want him to have the very healthiest, bravest, and most nourished version of me.

2018 will be a journey of nourishment for my body, mind, and soul. I look forward to it, and to sharing it with you.

What will your word for 2018 be?