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Valentine's Day is for YOU

Love yourself, dammit!

Have you ever asked yourself what it is you love about yourself? Or, have you ever stopped to think why you don't? Love seems like such a common word we throw around. We say it to our family, our friends, and our significant other, but when do we ever stop and take the time to say it to ourselves? For most people, the answer is never. We're not taught to do it. No one sits us down as children and says, "alright, remember to love yourself today." There are no classes in grade-school on self-love. Instead, there are standards, bullies, social norms, and expectations. There are all these things that go against self-love, and promote people giving into what society wants them to be.

This Valentine's Day I hope you'll consider all the people you love, and try to include yourself in that list. I know that it is hard. For so long, I didn't love myself. I was angry with myself, and quite honestly, there were times that I was angry with God. I did not understand why I had to go through what I was going through. Why did I have to count constantly? Why did I have to feel dirty? Why did I have to feel uncomfortable in my own skin? I did not understand at the time until one day I stopped trying to place blame and searched for answers. I am not the only one with a mental illness, and I am certainly not the only person with OCD. It was crucial for me to realize that my struggles mattered, but so does the struggles of others. It was also important that I learned I could help myself. I always thought I was helpless; I believed I was a "lost cause." Instead of blaming myself (and God), I had to learn to ask God for strength to help myself.

You see, many people sit around waiting for God. Sometimes we need to do this; it is God's time not ours. But if there's is anything I've learned in this process, it is that God gives us free will. He gives us the abilities to help ourselves (with his assistance), but we have to be willing to follow his guidance. My pity for myself got me nowhere; my anger and selfishness got me nowhere. I had to want help. If I wanted to learn to love myself, I had to make the effort to try. That meant learning about OCD, and that meant admitting I was struggling in ways that I did not always understand. That meant asking for help.

If there is one thing I know from this journey, it is that you are allowed to love yourself. Unfortunately, our society doesn't always make it easy, but it's true. We're never told we can't love ourselves, yet our brains often make it feel like we shouldn't. We constantly look at the negatives. The number of times my girl friends have looked at themselves in a mirror and criticized themselves is larger than I can count. It breaks my heart because I have done it, too. This Valentine's Day I want you to know how special you are. No matter who you are, your size on a scale, the color of your skin, your sexuality, your gender, etc.

You were put on this Earth for a reason. There is a chance that you may not understand that reason, and maybe sometimes you believe the world would be better off without you. That is WRONG. I don't say that to be nice; I say it because it's TRUE. You are the only YOU on this Earth, and if you leave it, there won't ever be another. You were wonderfully and fearfully made. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are unique. You matter. You have a voice. You deserve to be alive. You deserve a life, full of love and happiness and kindness. We cannot make others give us these things, but we can give these things to ourselves. We can accept ourselves, we can appreciate ourselves, we can be kind to ourselves, and we can LOVE ourselves. With this, we can start a chain reaction. When one sees another loving herself, it leads that person to want to love them self. Once you master self-love, it is so much easier to give love out into the world. And what a world that would be? A world full of people loving themselves and each other, for simply being all that they are. That sounds like a world I want to live in. So celebrate your significant other or your friends this Valentine's Day, but remember to celebrate yourself, too! It's okay; you're allowed to.

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