I'm Happy July is Ending

I truly believe that God works in mysterious ways.

This month has been a hard one. I haven't been getting along with my dad, and because of that, my relationship with my mom has been a little weird. It has been hard being on such odd terms with both of my parents. My mom is one of my best friends--I mean, I am practically her recreated, so we've always had a special bond. It has been hard not talking everyday like we usually do. My relationship with my dad has never been perfect, but it has come a long way in the past two years. I've grown up and matured, forgiven past events, and most importantly, I have worked to understand my dad better. I find when we take the time to understand why people act the way they do, we often learn to understand and empathize with them better.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, my dad and I have been in an argument most of July and have not been speaking to one another. It's upset me, but I did not know what to say to make this situation better. I kept hoping he would be the one to initiate a conversation.

On Tuesday of this week, I got in a car accident. It was my fault--I wasn't paying close enough attention, and I rear-ended the person in front of me. I was already so disappointed in myself for hitting the person's car. I don't think anyone enjoys getting in an accident, but I am sure you can understand how anxiety never makes these situations better. I did my best to keep calm while speaking with the other driver and afterwards, when driving back to work. It was during the middle of the day when I had my accident, so I still had a few hours left at work. These hours were excruciating. I was upset (in general) that I got in an accident, and I was even more upset that I was now going to have to tell my dad about it (I am still under my parent's insurance).

We already were not on good terms. . .how was I supposed to tell him this? Part of me contemplated whether calling him was necessary.

Should I just text him? I have pictures of my car. I could just send those and see what he says.

Thankfully, I decided to put my "big girl" pants on and call him, and ya know what? The conversation went surprisingly well. My dad wasn't mad that I got in an accident. He was happy I called to tell him, and he was happy I was safe. We talked, said we loved each other, and towards the end of our conversation my dad said, "as much as I hate that you got in a wreck, maybe this is what we needed to speak to each other again." It was hard to hear, but he was probably right.

I want to remind you all that no one has a perfect life. I certainly don't. On top of all the mental health issues, body insecurities, and anger problems I have experienced, I am also one of the girls whose relationship with her dad is. . .less than perfect. But, I still try. I still work to make an effort, because at the end of the day, he's still my dad. He loves me in his own special way, and I love him, too. Our relationship may never be perfect, but I have learned it helps to look forward rather than staying stuck in the past.

This post isn't so much about mental health, I know, but I felt it was important to share. I think we all have someone in our lives with whom our relationship struggles. When that person is so close to you, especially a parent, it can feel even more difficult. I hope you recognize you're not the only one. Take the bad and learn from it. Move forward. Forgive, and when you're ready, move on together.