Own Who You Are
If you took away your mental illness, who would you be?
It's very common to let our mental illnesses (or mental health struggles) define us. When we discover our mental illnesses, we worry how others will perceive us as an individual. What will they think? What will they say? Will she still want to be friends? Will he still want to date me? We assume that our being & attraction to and from others is based off this one detail of our lives.
So let me ask you again: if you took away your mental illness, who would you be? How would you define yourself?
I can tell you about me. Quirky, clumsy, goofy, silly, sensitive. Those are the first five words I'd use to describe myself. I'm a bit quirky; my mother always said I dance to the beat of my own drum. I see what she means now that I'm in my twenties. I'm clumsy--I fall and trip and run into walls totally on accident quite frequently. Goofy and silly are similar, but I like to consider myself both. I'm obsessed with puns and bad jokes, I like hanging out with children more than I do grown-ups, and I laugh at myself all the time (usually, for making some terrible joke or saying something I find stupidly humorous). I'm also sensitive--I know this, and it doesn't take long for others to realize it about me. I care deeply for others, and I'm affected by other people's pain whether it is directly related to me or not. I cry at movies, TV shows, and sad animal videos on Facebook. I sometimes think I got my emotions plus someone else's--hooray for double the amount of emotions! (ha ha.)
On top of those five key adjectives, I'm a wife; I'm a dog mom; I'm a daughter; I'm a sister and a friend.
- I enjoy learning, and I am a huge book nerd. Fiction is my favorite genre to read, but I also enjoy poetry and travel literature.
- I think learning about languages and cultures is fascinating. I've immersed myself in French and Italian studies, and I would love to learn about more languages and groups of people from all over the world.
- I love animated movies, romances, and comedies. I think horror films are dumb and pointless.
- Riverdale is one of my favorite shows on television right now, and I am not afraid to admit it.
- Having human children terrifies me, yet I am eager to do so.
- I'm a vegetarian--I personally feel wrong for eating animals. I've found a love for animals, and I see them more as just another being on the planet rather than an entity for me to eat. I also don't judge others who do eat meat because I'm aware that vegetarianism is a privilege. Not everyone lives in an area where that lifestyle is capable.
These are all random facts about myself, but they are all crucial in making up who I am. And the truth is, none of these traits, characteristics, or personal beliefs go away because I have a mental illness. Instead, I think my mental illness has helped in making me who I am today.
I have OCD and I struggle with depression and anxiety. For a long time, I hid the deepest parts of my illness. I was afraid of all those daunting question because I wanted what everyone else wants: love and acceptance. But the one person I truly needed love and acceptance from was myself, and since discovering those essential aspects for and from myself, I've been able to love and accept others better. I've also been able to process the possibility of hurt, pain, and rejection much better because I know that it's their loss, not mine. At the end of the day, I'm always going to have a mental illness, and that is okay. It's not about who you would be, it's about who you are. I'm still all the things I would be without a mental illness but better somehow. I have a better perspective in life, more empathy for others, and a kinder spirit to share with the world.
So who are you?
I think it's about time we start owning who we are, mental illness and all.
