Finding the Positive within Our Negative Attributes

I’ve talked about it before. I’ve mentioned how I sometimes believe I have double the emotions of a normal person. What I mean when I say this is that I feel so damn much. Honestly, that’s the best way to put it, and sometimes it’s hard. It’s all fine and dandy when you’re feeling those good emotions. You get to be extra-filled with joy when something exciting happens, but unfortunately, you also get extra-filled with the negatives, too. For example, tonight I stumbled upon a Facebook post of a dog who was thankfully rescued, but it showed the pictures of him when he was first found. The poor baby’s ribs were showing from such starvation. Most of his hair was shaved down to the skin, and the little that was there on his back was matted. As I looked at these pictures, I started tearing up, and as I type this and think back to those pictures, tears begin to well back up in my eyes. My heart aches for the torture that dog had to endure, and it aches because I know there are still dog out there suffering. The same way there are humans out there suffering, too. I think about things like this sometimes, out of the blue. My heart shatters for people I don’t even know, for people I’ll probably never meet. How is that possible? And there are times when I think, God, this is too much. I can’t handle these emotions. I sometimes go as far as to think, I wish I didn’t feel like this. I wish I felt a normal amount of emotions, or maybe even less than that. Yet somehow, I always find myself regretting those thoughts. I know I have a big heart. I know I’m sensitive, and yes, sometimes it is a pain in the ass to feel so much. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. . .because I would rather feel everything than nothing at all. I would rather cry over the little things than to never be able to cry. I would rather know grief in order to understand love and happiness better than to never know any of it at all. I wouldn’t be who I am today if I wasn’t the sensitive, emotional-wreck that I am (I mean that in the most endearing way). So instead of shaming myself, or hating myself for it, I’m learning to embrace it. I also have to say, on the positive side, it’s made me a much more emotionally intelligent person. And that comes in handy sometimes.