As God Refines, So He Defines

Why do we find purpose in our pain? Because through refinement, God is able to define us and our stories. It is refinement that defines us through our struggles in this life. Am I happy that I grew up in an emotionally unstable home? Am I happy I used to come home and cry from a day of exhaustion living inside my head? Am I happy that I entered into the darkest place where I contemplated ending it all? Of course not, but even through every single one of those dreadful moments, God was with me. He was standing beside me when I felt weak; He sat with me through every panic attack; He laid next to me on the floor when I saw images of killing myself; He cradled me when I could not find the strength to get out of bed. Even in the moments when I could not feel Him, He was there. More beautifully, He sent people and resources, and well, even animals into my life as physical representations of His goodness.

Were it not for His faithfulness, I would not be here. That has been made clear to me over and over again, and I must say, it is a humbling experience to realize had my life taken one small turn in another direction, I would not be sitting here today able to write this message into the atmosphere of the internet. I would not be able to tell you of the wonders and excitement there is to dream, to be bold, and to see the possibilities of your future ahead of you. I have never previously felt defined in any way, but through my life experiences--both good and bad--I am being refined into someone with purpose and defined into the woman God is molding.

Who is this woman? I am still finding her every day, and I see how beautiful of a journey that is allowed to be in itself. How exciting is it to know that as you age, as you evolve, as you feel pain and happiness in this life, you will grow deeper into your roots. You will continue to bloom and emerge into your wonderful self, and by keeping an open mind, you may discover yourself many times over in this short lifetime. How beautiful refinement can be if we only allow ourselves the possibility to grow and be defined by the challenging circumstances that may arrive.

Quite frankly, the alternative is an uglier sight--one I've seen many times throughout several generations. When we do not open our minds to the possibility of growth, we instead open our hearts to the malice of this world. We allow for the world to make us bitter; we allow for a broken world to break us, too. That's not the plan God has intended for you, friend. His plans do not always make sense, but isn't that the point of faith? We believe and trust in the midsts of uncertainty. Even when we have no physical proof to say "this will work," we take that leap with the Father holding our hands because we trust that He will do what He says He'll do. Even more, we trust that He is who He says He is--the knower of all things; great is His faithfulness; His love is deep and wide and vast. How truly blessed are we to experience His unexplainable, unfathomably miraculous love.

Today, I make this vow to dream again, to recognize my refinement and be defined by the One who holds the moon and the stars and all the galaxies combined. He has plans for me, He has life for me, and He has it for you, too. Let 2021 be a year with continual growth and firm definition.

"Make me Your vessel

Make me an offering

Make me whatever You want me to be

I came here with nothing

But all You have given me

Jesus bring new wine out of me"

~ New Wine