Post-Roe Thoughts from a Pro-Choice Christian

I wonder what God thinks of those who use His name for their own obsession with greed, control, and status of power. How does He feel about those who use His name to belittle others, to attack others, to discriminate against others, to classify others?

And I wonder, how is it that those people go to bed at night feeling satisfied with themselves? Feeling, dare I say, proud of the work they’ve done to inflict systemic and emotional pain onto others?

I’ve wrestled with these questions my whole life, really. I was taught racism, prejudice, sexism, and misogyny through a Christian lens, and for a while, I began to question why I was a Christian.

I’ll be honest right now—I don’t have all the right words here. I won’t say everything perfectly, but this is my heart and I’ll do the best to express that.

I am a Christian, and I love God with all my heart. But religion is hard word for me. Religion has so many negative connotations because of how people have used religion throughout centuries to oppress others and sadly, it’s still happening. Some days, I hate the term religion and some days, it just feels like another word in the English dictionary. I tend to say things like “I’m non-denominational” or “I have a relationship with Christ” because those sentences feel more authentic to me than saying “I’m religious.” I believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. I believe God sent his son to die for our sins. I believe God wanted a perfect world, but he realized that’s not the case on this side of heaven. And while I don’t think he likes all of our actions, I don’t feel in my heart that he’s some judgmental, condemning, all-or-nothing God. So why do so many Christians make him out to be that way? Why do so many Christians act that way? I have to assume this is their representation of God since he tells us to be like him.

For a very long time, I thought I was made wrong. I was told my mental health problems were consequences of me not praying enough, of me not going to church enough, of me not being a good enough Christian. When I lost my virginity as a teenager outside of wedlock, I was scalded and treated like a pagan by people who had done the exact same thing. And because it seemed to be so many people around me saying these things, so many people who were supposed to “love” me, I thought they must be right.

But ya know what I found when I found God? Like really found God for myself? I found arms wide open, I found forgiveness, I found unconditional love, I found friendship, I found comfort. I found someone who saw all parts of me—the broken, the bruised, the ugly—and he still called me beloved. I found that when I chose to believe that God was for me, too—not just the perfect, pretty little saints who attend church every Sunday to then turn around and mock + judge the people who don’t fit their standards. I stopped believing in God from a close-minded, ignorant lens and chose to believe in who he says he is and who he has shown me he is.

I know I can never have all the answers, but the Lord says, “Cast all your anxiety on [me] because [I] care for you” (1 Peter 5:7). He also says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5), so when I feel overwhelmed, when I feel confused, when I feel at war with my own thoughts, I bring them to him. Sometimes I pour out my heart in written words and sometimes I scream inside my head, depending on what I’m able to give that day, and every time he meets me where I am.

Lately, I think and ask…

How can people turn a blind eye?

How can they care so much about the unborn and care so little about the ones already alive?

How can they call themselves Christians, yet be so cold and quick to judge?

How can we as human beings and American citizens say we care so much and do so little?

How can we see the homeless and our hearts not break?

How can we want to scream at the young girl seeking abortion rather than listening to her story? Rather than lending a helping hand or even a should to cry on?

In a perfect world, abortion wouldn’t exist, but you see in a perfect world, neither would poverty, hunger, systemic racism, unequal access to healthcare, lack of funding for schools and mental health resources, foster care systems, adoption agencies, gun violence, and so much more. In a perfect world, people would have children when they wanted and be able to afford to take care of them and be provided resources that helped them create safe, happy homes, communities, and schools. In a perfect world, a woman could not want children and other people would not judge her for that because they’d understand we all have different roles to play. In a perfect world, all men would treat women as equals and they’d encourage the growth and success of the women in their lives whether in the home or the workforce. In a perfect world, rape wouldn’t exist and neither would neglect or abuse.

Why is it that people—so many calling themselves Christians—have attached themselves to one cause? Rid the country of legal abortions and somehow you can lay your head down at night and sleep peacefully? Is that all it takes? I’m so very confused by that because if you cared so much, if you cared like Jesus, you would understand it is our job to share the gospel, not force it upon others.

Jesus still looks at those who’ve had abortions and calls them people, so why do you look at them and call them anything else? Why do you parade around like you are so much better? Because IF we are going to call abortion murder then you’re mad because of sin, and God says all sin is the same. So that means you—who has most likely lied, who has possibly cheated, who has even gloated or boasted with pride—are no different. Can we make lying illegal? Will children who cheat on test spend years in a jail cell?

And finally, how can you use your religion to govern an entire people in a country that is called “the land of the free?” I’m not saying your beliefs aren’t valid. Actually, I believe all beliefs are valid because I truly believe in the freedom to express and practice your personal beliefs, but I also understand that my personal beliefs don’t make me any better than my Muslim friend, or my Hindu neighbors, or the agnostic classmate I met in college, or the atheist I mentored for a semester. At the end of the day, we are all human beings trying to figure this life out. It’s all belief and faith and interpretation in many ways, and there’s nothing wrong with that. What’s wrong is when you use your beliefs and your so-called faith and ignorant perspectives to oppress others. How is that love? How is that pro-life? How is that living like Jesus?

The thing about life is that we’re given the opportunity to make choices. It’s the one thing we actually have control over—OUR OWN CHOICES. It’s not supposed to be our job to control the choices of others. We can encourage, we can teach, we can express our thoughts in a respectful manner, but it’s not our job to make choices for others.